How to Find a Healthy Relationship
Discover what you really want out of dating. Are you dating for marriage? For sex? To find love? To have a partner to travel with? To have children? To not have children? Are you monogamous? What are your dealbreakers and what is the real, honest, future vision that you want? Get as close to it as possible. You may not know and that’s ok. Start the investigation so that when you’re getting to know someone you can have this conversation early and knock out the people that aren’t aligned with what you really want.
Practice saying it out loud to get yourself comfortable with it. We’re all conditioned to think that there’s something wrong with wanting a certain type of relationship. Every lifestyle comes with a stigma. Fuck em. Kids and home ownership? Polyamorous and focusing on career? Open relationship with a partner to travel the world with? It’s all good. As long as it’s healthy and precisely what you want out of life, its beautiful. OWN IT BABY!
Make your healing a priority. Trauma bonding isn’t hot anymore. Healthy, supportive, communication is the new Angelina Jolie & billy Bob Thornton in case you didn’t know. But for real, if you want a healthy partner, you must be that for yourself first. We attract what we think we deserve. Which leads me to my next two steps—
Make a list. Y’all know I love a list. Write down the qualities you want in a partner. Get clear on how you want to feel everyday with this person, what they love, what their values are, how they interact with others, and whatever your non-negotiables are (aka whatever would end a relationship or stop you from starting one up with that person ie. Smelly breath, non-committal, bad taste in music… idk everyone’s got their stuff 😂)
Here’s the kicker— become the person on the list. So often we search outside of ourselves for fulfillment. To find the person who can “complete us” as if we’re not whole already. We search for the person who has the qualities, achievements or even looks we wish we had. If you can practice living your list, you will attract your person. Self love is magnetic. The core of you will draw them in like a moth to a flame. Start with you and let the rest go. They are coming.
Trust. The more we try to control the timing in which our next love arrives, the longer it will take for them to get here. Loosen your grasp, focus on yourself and know that the universe wants love for you. All you have to do is unblock and get honest. Let the big powers that be take care of the rest.
Need help with this? Book a free discovery call with me and we will find out what you need in order to create your next (and maybe final? If that’s what you want of course…) healthy partner. I’ve been through these steps before and the love did find me. Let’s talk and I’ll share my story with you. I can’t wait to hear yours